Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. (Colossians 3:19 NIV)
Those of us who have rabbits as pets would be familiar with their thumping behavior. When a rabbit thumps its hind legs, it is usually to warn its animal or human companions of danger or simply an expression of frustration or anger. Depending on the rabbit’s body language, understanding what it is trying to communicate is easy. If a rabbit appears on alert and tense, it is a clear signal of possible danger. If it appears annoyed, it is telling us, "I don’t like what you are doing" or "I will not be ignored."
Sometimes, our behavior differs little from that of the rabbits. We are willing to look out for the interests of others at times but not always. Once in a while, in our anger or frustration we may get careless with our words and thump at another or our spouse with our unreasonable expectations. One of the most worrying trends prevalent today is domestic abuse and intimate partner violence.
"Domestic violence is a huge problem not only in our communities but tragically in our churches as well," said Dr. George O. Wood in the video Sin by Silence at ChristianityToday.com. "There are more victims in our churches than we would care to admit and it is time to courageously intervene in this plague on our nation. Abusive behavior in our homes and families is simply unacceptable."
According to an article at ForYourMarriage.org, women often stay with their abusers because of fear. They are afraid the abuser will become more violent if they try to leave. Some fear they will lose their children, while many believe they cannot make it on their own.
"I left with my three daughters several times, but he'd always track us down," said Brenda, a victim of domestic violence sharing her story at Heart-2-Heart.ca. "By the final year of our marriage, my life had deteriorated into a nightmare of fear, pain and despair, and I didn't know how to help for myself."
Abusive men tend to be jealous, possessive and easily angered, wrote the author of the article at ForYourMarriage.org. Typically, they blame their partner for the abuse, saying, "You made me do this." Alcohol and drugs are also common causes of domestic violence.
Conflicts are inevitable in every intimate relationship. Nevertheless, we can come before God to iron out our dissensions and differences toward a healthy conflict resolution. Beyond that, however, we need to understand that domestic violence is not mere marital conflicts and such has no place in a healthy relationship. If there is any abusive behavior in our homes or families, we should not be afraid to sound out to our pastors or to seek help.
The Bible says, “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them” and “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Colossians 3:19; Ephesians 5:25). A marriage relationship is a covenant and should always be one of love and care (Malachi 2:14-15; 1 Peter 3:7). If there is anything we need to caution the other, therefore, let us do so out of love to forewarn against hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, dissensions, drunkenness and the like. For whoever lives like this and practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God (Galatians 5:20-21). Thumping to express displeasure or demand obedience is not the way to go, for God hates those who love violence (Psalm 11:5).
Dear Lord, we pray for families to live in love without abuse or violence. We ask O God for those under abuse not to remain in silence and for Your comfort and care to lead them to the help they need. Forgive us Lord if we are the abuser, and correct us in the way You would have us change from our violent ways. Tame our anger Lord and fill us with Your love, just as You loved the church and gave Yourself up for her. Renew us in spirit and mind Lord that we may be set free from our old ways to live anew to bear the fruit of the Spirit in love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Evening and morning and at noon, I will complain and murmur, And He will hear my voice. (Psalm 55:17 NAS)
In a news article of February 21, 2013 at WishTV.com, a Greenwood doctor was reported to be under fire after he admitted to charging a patient more money for whining, among other complaints.
“I charged him level 5,” the doctor wrote in his blog post, “for taking so much of my time, for bad-mouthing his previous doctors, and for incessant whining.”
Several medical billing experts interviewed said the post written by the doctor is unlikely to rise to the level of “illegal billing” as it would be hard to prove the intent of billing abuse.
Bad-mouthing and whining are not something uncommon to many people. When we do our best in our job, for example, we tend to sometimes expect our hirer to reward us in one way or another besides paying us what is due. At times, we may feel unhappy or discontent when we do not receive the appreciation or reciprocal return we feel we deserve, especially when we see our peers getting rewarded instead of us. Perhaps we may have put in more hours at work than the others and yet receive the same wages or bonuses, or perhaps we did not receive anything at all. Gradually, we may begin to grumble and whine without realizing the harm we are bringing to ourselves and others.
The Bible contains many teachings about grumbling and complaining. In the epistle to the brethren at Corinth, Paul wrote about the events that took place in the Old Testament days to teach them the mistakes to avoid so they may not have to bear the consequences. One of these mistakes includes grumbling or complaining (1 Corinthians 10:10).
Job, in his sufferings and troubles, complained (Job 7:11; 10:1). King David, praying for the destruction of the treacherous, complained and murmured (Psalm 55:17). God responded to Job with a question and Job sought forgiveness (Job 40:1-5). David acknowledged God’s salvation and redemption in bringing his complains to God (Psalm 55:16, 18).
Are we grumbling, murmuring, complaining or whining? If we are, then let us be aware the consequences we may have to bear. While charging extra may be unethical in medical billing, the price we pay for bad attitudes or behavior can cost us more. If we are a worker or an employee, our job can be put at risk if we persist with our grumbling or whining. Such behavior is bad influence to others and can cause low morale—a sure way to get fired. Remember, in whatever we do we should work heartily as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord we will receive our reward (Colossians 3:23-24).
Dear Lord, forgive us for sometimes whining, grumbling, murmuring or complaining about so many things. We know Lord the consequences we may have to bear with such behavior and we pray that You be merciful to us in our weakness. Help us rise above our circumstances Lord, knowing that our reward is from You, not men. Renew us by Your Spirit Lord that we may grow to be more and more like You each day and not be a bad influence to others. Redeem our soul in peace O Lord as we call upon You to save us in our times of troubles and need.
But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing,' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell. (Matthew 5:22 NAS)
In certain parts of the world, the term ‘ding-dong’ refers to a person who is slow-witted or foolish. Where I live, if a person makes an irrational decision, we sometimes say of that person is a ding-dong.
Jesus, in His sermon on the mount, said whoever calls his brother, ‘You good-for-nothing’ or ‘You fool’ shall be guilty before the supreme court enough to go into the fiery hell (Matthew 5:22). This is in relation to speaking out in anger for which reason reconciliation is advised prior to coming before God when we remember our bother has something against us (Matthew 5:23-24).
As a team, we sometimes have to bear the consequences together. Even so, there is no need for us to blame or talk bad about the decision-maker or to label him or her a ding-dong, good-for-nothing, stupid or fool. A wrong decision made does not deserve a death sentence except when it is done deliberately against God’s counsel or offer of salvation. If we have any counsel or advice, we should let the person know prior to making the decision. The choice however is not ours to dictate, for God has granted freewill to everyone.
With each decision, nevertheless, the consequences will be bore in full. We know how the story unwrapped with Pharaoh’s decision not to let the children of Israel go in the days of Moses (Exodus 5-14). We also know what happened to Nabal when he in his foolishness turned away God’s elect, David (1 Samuel 25:2-39). Knowing the consequences the yet unsaved have to bear without Jesus Christ as Lord, all the more so we need to bring them into the kingdom of God.
Are we making decisions without consulting God and His word? Are we blaming others for the bad decisions they made? Are we neglecting the sharing of the gospel to the unsaved? Let us not be the ones making foolish decisions or saying the wrong things or be the ones sentencing people to death.
Forgive us dear Lord for the many wrong decisions we have made and for the not-so-nice things we have said in our anger. We know You have given us the freedom of choice to make the right decisions, so guide us as we seek Your will to fulfill. Help us not give up on those who have chosen the wrong path, but lead us as we continue to speak to them and bring them to You.
Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Did you suffer so many things in vain—if indeed it was in vain? (Galatians 3:3-4 NAS)
When I was a teenager, several crises in my life happened in succession one after another which left me rattled. A loved one was seriously ill, an affectionate relationship was broken, and a discord in church separated many friendships and the congregation. All of a sudden, it was like the entire world had turned against me and I was left all alone with no one to turn to or share my agony. For a little while my faith in God was shaken but thankfully I was not left shattered. In my sorrows, the Lord comforted me and restored my soul, and I soon returned to Him.
Like me, the two followers of Jesus on the road to Emmaus were left disillusioned and confused after all that had happened in Jerusalem (Luke 24:13-14, 18-21). They were hoping that Jesus was the One to redeem Israel, but His death had left them rattled, unsure of what to believe when told He had risen (Luke 24:22-23).
Jesus said to them, “O foolish men and slow of heart to believe in all that the prophets have spoken! Was it not necessary for the Christ to suffer these things and to enter into His glory?” (Luke 24:25-26).
When their eyes were finally opened to recognize Jesus, they said to one another, “Were not our hearts burning within us while He was speaking to us on the road, while He was explaining the Scriptures to us?” (Luke 24:31-32).
Perhaps, like the two followers of Jesus and me, there are things we have planned in our lives that did not work out the way we have hoped or crises that have left us shattered in spirit. Are we disillusioned or confused because of all these happenings that we become unsure what to believe anymore? Is our faith in God shaken because the entire world seems to be against us and we feel all alone suffering in agony?
Take heed what the Lord said and let us not be like those who are foolish or slow of heart to believe. Do we not know that Jesus suffered and died for us willingly? How is it then that we should doubt God’s love for us to think that He will abandon us in our times of agony or sorrow? Stand firm and do not let anything move us because our labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Corinthians 15:2, 58; Galatians 3:3-4). Like the followers on the road to Emmaus, let our eyes be open to recognize Jesus in all circumstances and our hearts burn within us as we listen to our Lord by His Spirit and word.
Open the eyes of our hearts O Lord that we may see You in our moments of disillusion and confusion. Do not let us be rattled to the point of straying away from You dear Lord but keep us safe in Your protection and care. Remind us Lord in our agony and sorrow that we are not alone and You are always present to help and comfort us. Keep our hearts burning for You Lord that we may in Your word grow to understand Your will and know You more and more every day.
My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit’s power, so that your faith might not rest on human wisdom, but on God’s power. (1 Corinthians 2:4-5 NIV)
"I think the content is lacking the sizzle to keep the audience interested," said the overseer. "So far I'm not seeing enough likes or comments being generated on our blog and social networks."
That is the kind of remark I would wish never to hear from my boss, but I get that a lot as a copywriter and content manager. Writing persuasive copies is what is expected of my job and unless I bring in the numbers and visitors to the websites I manage, I am at risk of losing my livelihood. This is how the commercial world works when it comes to measuring performance and the success of an online marketing campaign in getting across the message to its audience. It is all about spicing up the heat using persuasive words accompanied by outstanding design to catch attention, create interest, and stir up desire that leads to action.
Unlike the way the commercial world works, getting across the gospel message to the yet unsaved is not about using wise and persuasive words, but by the guidance of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 2:4-5). There is no need for us to spice up the gospel message to create the sizzle or desire. Our focus should be to accurately handle the word of truth; for while we may plant the seed or water it, it is God who causes the growth (2 Timothy 2:15; 1 Corinthians 3:6).
Nevertheless, there are a few things we can do to help the yet unsaved better understand our intent in sharing the gospel. Like the way the secular world uses the AIDA approach to create Attention, Interest, Desire, and Action, there are also many approaches we can use to share the gospel. One of them which I have found particularly useful is summarized in a word, BRIDGE. ‘B’ is to be genuine, ‘R’ is to reach across our prejudices, ‘I’ is to invest time, ‘D’ is to dialogue relevantly, ‘G’ is to go beyond the surface, and ‘E’ is to expect to be surprised by God.
Are we spending too much time trying to create the sizzle to get people to come to our church or to a gospel event? Is the numbers a concern to us in gaging how well we perform as a church or in bringing people to our Lord? Are we spicing up too much heat to draw the crowd that we become careless in handling the word of truth? Jesus in the Gospel said there is much rejoicing in heaven even over one sinner who repents (Luke 15:7, 10).
When sharing the gospel, therefore, be prepared to expect the unexpected when the Holy Spirit leads. Rather than use wise or persuasive words to create the sizzle to bring in the numbers, let us be genuine in presenting the full gospel in truth. Take time to share without prejudices and do not talk without relevance. Go the extra mile whenever needed beyond just touching the surface that those who hear the good news may through us experience God’s love and receive His salvation.
Dear Lord, thank You for loving us so much. Our hearts yearn O Lord to share Your good news and to reach out to the yet unsaved in bringing them into Your kingdom. Help us Lord not to be too caught up in our enthusiasm to create unnecessary sizzle to increase the numbers, but to genuinely go beyond the surface to express our love while sharing the gospel. Keep us in tune with You at all times Lord that when Your Spirit leads, we may be ready to expect the unexpected for Your word of truth to get across more effectively.
Drip down, O heavens, from above, And let the clouds pour down righteousness; Let the earth open up and salvation bear fruit, And righteousness spring up with it. I, the LORD, have created it. (Isaiah 45:8 NAS)
When the weatherman said it was going to rain for the next few days, my wife and I were not dampened in spirit because it had been extremely warm and humid back home. We were on our holidays in Scandinavia and were looking forward to visiting the Briksdal Glacier in Nordfjord, Norway. When the day arrived for our visit, we traveled up on a troll car amid the raindrops dripping on our waterproof jackets with hoods on. The spectacular view of the glacier with its streams and waterfall was an amazing sight to behold and it was well worth the visit despite the bad weather.
Many a time, we are too easily dampened in spirit when we hear or know something difficult or unpleasant is brewing up and coming our way. As believers in the Lord, there is no need for us to fear because God is always looking out for us. Even if we are amid tough times or going through the ‘bad weather’ right now, we can still enjoy and behold the wonders of God’s great love for us.
Like showers and raindrops which are often symbolized in the Bible as blessings from heaven poured down dripping upon us in abundance, much more God is willing to bless us (Job 36:27-28; Ezekiel 24:26). Our LORD is always ready to open His rich treasury, the heavens, to give us rain on our land in its season and to bless all the work of our hand (Deuteronomy 28:12).
Are we troubled by what lies ahead or burdened by the things happening right now? Jesus said, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). “Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you” (John 14:1-2).
Rather than be fearful or burdened, therefore, let us rise above our circumstances and put our complete trust in God. Ask of Him to drip down from the heavens and pour down His righteous deliverance. Pray that the earth may open up to God’s salvation and spring forth to bear fruit (Isaiah 45:8).
Thank You, dear Lord, for always looking out for us and blessing us. You O Lord are an amazing God. You care for us and comfort us when we are troubled and grant us rest when we are heavy-laden. Amid our difficult times Lord, You are always present with us, and we are able to experience Your deep love for us. Pour down Your righteous deliverance Lord and let the earth open up to Your salvation that through us Your good news may spring forth to the world and bear fruit. In You Lord we put our complete trust and rise above our fears and circumstances.
make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. (Philippians 2:2 NAS)
“Their personalities don’t really click, but they get along well working together.”
That’s a remark many bosses can accept from supervisors when it comes to evaluating team spirit and resolving members’ conflicts. Unless a team works together in harmony toward a common goal, it can make or break an organization or a project.
Like the members in a team of a project or an organization, all of us as believers in the Lord are also members of one body in Christ (Romans 12:5; 1 Corinthians 12:27). The Bible exhorts us that we should therefore be of one mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, and intent on one purpose (1 Corinthians 1:10; Philippians 2:2). We may differ in personalities and at times need to resolve conflicts. Yet we must always stay together to encourage one another, and all the more as we see the day drawing near (Hebrews 10:25b).
In humility of mind, therefore, let us regard one another as more important than ourselves. Rather than merely looking out for our own interests, look also for the interests of others. Do not be haughty in mind to think of ourselves as wiser than others or do things from selfishness or empty conceit (Romans 12:16; Philippians 2:3-4).
Have this attitude in us which was in Christ, who although He existed in the form of God, He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped. Instead, He emptied Himself to take the form of a bond-servant (Philippians 2:5-7). Like Christ, let us then instead of asserting our rights, be like-minded, sympathetic, compassionate, and humble in spirit toward one another. Even if our personalities do not really click, let us learn to get along well working together (1 Peter 3:8).
Dear Lord, help us live harmoniously with one another despite our differences in personalities. Make our joy complete O Lord to be of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Humble us Lord that we may have this attitude in us not to always assert on our rights but be ready to serve with compassion and love.
Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you—unless indeed you fail the test? (2 Corinthians 13:5 NAS)
"Achoo!" I exclaimed as I quickly covered my mouth with my hand. “Looks like I'm going to have another day at the mercy of my allergy.”
Allergic reactions are an exaggerated response by one’s body to one or more allergens or external foreign substances, according to the doctors. A standard method of diagnosis for allergy is the skin-prick test or pricking the skin with a small amount of various allergens to provoke a small, controlled response. Mild reactions to allergy include sneezing, running nose, teary eyes and skin rash. Serious reactions can be fatal. Medications for allergies control include antihistamines, steroids, among others.
One of the most effective, least expensive, and simplest treatments for allergies mentioned in an article at MedicineNet.com is avoidance. This includes simple methods like regular cleaning and keeping the house as mold and dust free as possible. Temperature and humidity reduction can also lead to fewer symptoms and vastly improve the quality of life. However, this approach is not always followed and many people continue to choose medications or vaccinations instead, despite their drawbacks.
Like the sneeze that comes as a result of allergy, our spiritual walk with God can at times also be visited by ‘allergens’ or external ‘foreign substances’ such as our old sinful nature or temptations. A good method of diagnosis to measure our spiritual health is through a test to examine ourselves and our ways to see if we have lowered our standards (Lamentations 3:40; 2 Corinthians 13:5). If mild reactions of areas we have fallen behind are detected, we should quickly address the problems and lay them down before the Lord, otherwise persistence can result in serious reactions leading to fatality (Romans 1:28).
An effective, simple and yet free ‘treatment’ to get back on our feet when we slack behind is avoidance. Avoidance is about coming clean before God through the confession of our sins and purification from unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). It is also about keeping our house—our body which is the temple of the Holy Spirit—mold and dust free from our sinful nature and being led by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:14; 1 Corinthians 6:19).
Avoidance demands we keep clear from the 'heat and humidity' of worldly enticement and ungodly people (Romans 16:17; 2 Timothy 3:5; Titus 2:11-12). Doing this will help reduce our exposure to unneeded trouble and vastly improve our quality of life and walk in Christ. Sadly, however, such advice is not always heeded and many people continue to sit on the fence despite knowing the dangers. Are we one of them?
Forgive us dear Lord for sometimes slacking behind in our walk with You. Purify us O Lord and cleanse us from all our sins. Do not let us be caught up in the entanglements of this world or persist in our old ways. Remind us Lord to regularly examine ourselves to see if there be areas in our lives that are not pleasing to You. Keep us clear from ungodly activities Lord that we may not expose ourselves to unneeded trouble but improve our quality of life and walk in You.
Tell him, ‘You think you are like a lion among the nations. Instead, you are like a crocodile in the water. You splash around in the water. You stir up the water with your feet. You make the streams muddy.’ This is what the Almighty LORD says: When many nations gather together, I will spread my net over you, and they will haul you up in a net. (Ezekiel 32:2-3 GWT)
As an employee, I have met many bosses and supervisors who are Christians. Not all of them are easy to work with or for and some are extremely difficult to get along, especially when it comes to meeting their demands and expectations. How should we as subordinates respond to such bosses and supervisors?
A good example of the correct working attitude we should adopt is found in the relationship between King Saul and David. Despite the dangers and hardship David went through to serve King Saul, there was never a time David harbored any thought of revenge or retaliation. Even when he was on the run, he said to his men it would be unthinkable for him to raise his hand against the LORD's anointed (1 Samuel 24:6; 26:11). Doubtless to say, our bosses and supervisors are not necessarily God’s anointed. But they are the appointed authority over us and we know what God’s word says about submission to our leaders, even to those who are unfair or unreasonable (Romans 13:1; Colossians 3:22; Hebrews 13:17; 1 Peter 2:13-14, 18-19).
If we are employers, bosses, or supervisors, how should we treat our subordinates? By providing them what is right and fair, and not threatening them (Colossians 4:1; Ephesians 6:9). Remember what God said to the Pharaoh in the days of prophet Ezekiel (Ezekiel 32:2-3). God warned Pharaoh that while he thought he was a lion among the nations, to God, he was merely like a crocodile splashing around in the water, stirring with its feet to make the streams muddy. When the nations shall gather together, God said He would spread His net over him and they would haul him up in a net.
Like the crocodile that stirs up water with its feet, bosses and supervisors are able to ‘splash around’ and stir up much trouble in a work environment to make life difficult and unsuitable for their subordinates. If that happens, be aware that the ones who have suffered shall come together to God, and He will surely intervene.
Dear Lord, help us keep our cool amid working for those who may not treat us well. Do not allow us to harbor thoughts of seeking retaliation Lord, but put in us an attitude of complete trust in You. As bosses and supervisors Lord, help us not to abuse our authority or stir up trouble for others. Keep us in Your hands O Lord and guide us to provide whatever is right and fair to our subordinates. Remind us constantly Lord never to threaten those who work with or under us to perform beyond their abilities, for we know they have a Master in heaven too.
There are many decisions to make in life. I often wonder which choice is the best and right one for my life. I suppose I should seek God's wisdom and direction more earnestly than I do. Often times I tend to rely upon my own wisdom and intelligence in decision making. This does not always lead to the best outcome. It is easy to let my mind be most focused on the decisions which would affect my life here on earth, while not giving consideration to that which is eternal. For example, should I replace my older car with a new one? Should I learn skills which could result in new career opportunities? What should I do to secure my financial future, especially if the economy goes into a depression?
These are all worthy and important decisions to make. Yes, it is wise to seek God's wisdom and direction in these and other areas in life. However, this brings me to another question, "What is God's will for my life? Can I find the answer in the Bible?"
While God leads some people to do certain things, for example, to be a pastor or a missionary, this is not God’s call on everyone. We each have our own unique set of skills, likes and dislikes leading each in different directions. However, there is one thing which applies to every believer in Christ. We are predestined to be conformed to the image of Christ. Out of this, everything else in life should flow.
Through Adam's disobedience, mankind became disobedient, ungodly and self centered leaving us dead in our trespasses and sins. Through one man's obedience many will be made righteous (Romans 5:19). We were originally created in the image of God, but sin corrupted us and the offspring of Adam was born into the image of man. However, when one is saved, God begins to transform them into the image of Christ. We have borne the image of the earthly Adam, we shall also bear the image of the heavenly Christ" (1 Corinthians 15:49). We are born again, the new birth, through repentance toward God and faith toward Christ (Acts 20:21). We were born into Him; He became our life (Colossians 3:3-4). We are a new creation in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17).
When we fill our lives with earthly things, we will become more like the world. When we fill our lives with Godly things, we will become more Christ like. We must allow Christ to work in and through us molding us into His image. Through letting Christ work in us and through us, everything else in life should flow.
Remember Jesus' words, "seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (Matthew 6:33 KJV). What is the primary purpose God has for each of our lives? That is, to seek the kingdom of God first. When we seek the kingdom of God first, I believe our decision making will be easier and we will make wiser choices. The beautiful thing is, we will glorify God in the way we live our lives. —Ken Mickel
